FuckingHateLove.

I feel so crushed. Like a car ran me over twice, a bus fell on top of me after, and nothing is broken by my heart. The reason for the last blog is because I found out a lot of things Ashley said to my boyfriend. I broke up with him. I found pictures of her naked, text messages saying I love you and shit. I can't help it. I mean, I took him back. But I feel like I hate myself. I feel like I should just leave him be and come back when I think he isn't going to hurt me anymore. Every time I look into his beautiful brown eyes, I see hurt. I see destroy. I see tears. I see me...-crushed.- Being obsessed, being attached; it's all new to me. I seriously haven't felt this way before. Maybe because yes, he is my first real boyfriend. Yes, I believe I LOVE him. I can't be with anyone else, I've tried it with this so called "Alex" guy who isn't real. Getting played isn't cool. -__- I just... I don't know. I think I'm done for good. "His tears don't fall, they crash around me." I can't let that quote come true. All I know is, I think I need to get over him. I think I just need some time apart to realize that he can't get away with hurting me all the fucking time. This HAS happened before but... this time, it didn't hurt. It killed.