April 29th, 2010.

I'm sitting in my "little house" with my boyfriend and my best friend.

Smoking a fake cigarette. It's funny, they think they're getting high. >.<

Looosers. :P

Anyhoo, the past two days have been... Dramatic.

A lot of suicide incidents and what not.

My boyfriend; Michael, just threw up.

It's funny 'cause they're probably faking it. -___-

But eh, not quite. Pretty stupid. Anyhoo, I just took a drag.

Back to the past couple days which were Tuesday to now, which is Thursday.

Tuesday, I was iffy, didn't really feel like talking to anyone.

So that goes for that day, and Wednesday... Well, that was yesterday.

And eh, wasn't that fun. There's this kid, named Mitch; we call him "MitchTheBitch."

Quite hilarious actually. But umm, yeah, that kid is a BITCH!

Really, he choked my friend Alyssa. Speaking of her, she yelled at me for no goddamn reason.

It sort of pissed me off, but I let it go. Now me, I'm not one for grudges.

Back to yesterday, was bogus... But somehow got closer to "Gangbanger Dan."

Ew.... In a way, he's sorta cool. But ew, just ew. :D

I mean, I had a sex dream about that guy but I totally immortally hate him for no reason.

Okay, I'm pretty high.... So I'm gonna go.

Fuck this shit.

laterrrs.

Ps: Gianna is coming.

April 26th, 2010.

I found today, horribly alright.

I mean, yes I told my boyfriend something that probably crushed him bad.

His friend Dan probably hates me too. /: I hate myself for that too. I've cried ever since he left, which was about two hours ago.

It's almost midnight and I need to go to sleep.

How can someone sleep when you know you hurt someone? I can't. /:

All I can do it is cry.

That's the horrible part of my day, the alright part is that school wasn't so bad.

Home wasn't so bad, and telling him that didn't turn out too bad.

As in "too bad" I thought he'd probably want nothing to do with me.

And, just leave me. But he didn't. He loves me.

I know he wouldn't hurt me. I can't believe I hurt him!

I can't believe I had to be so stupid and go and do that.

Now what I have left on my shoulders is hope... Hope that he doesn't think I'd cheat.

Hope that he doesn't cheat.

Hope that nothing tears this wonderful relationship up.

Because, honestly, I need him in my life. He's the one who cares, who has my heart.

Wow. He's just breathtaking.

Shoot me for hurting the one I love, please.

So... There's This Boy;

And his name is Michael. Nobody knows how much this kid means to me. If he hurts, I hurt. If he's happy, I'm happy. If he's sad, I'm sad. If he's mad, I'm mad. If he feels like he wants to destroy something, I feel like I want to destroy something. Everything that he feels, I feel. I've never been this attached to someone. So attached that just the second he leaves my side it's like a piece of my heart breaks because he's not there. Yet, I know he's going to be back. He makes me feel so much emotion in myself. He makes me happy, he makes me laugh, smile, and he gives me butterflies. He makes me feel loved, sexy, and sweet. He makes me feel like I'm someone special in his life, he makes me feel like I can accomplish anything my mind sets too. He makes me look at life in a better way actually, more happier with how things flow. He calms me down when I'm mad, or sad, or freaking out. He makes me cry, but in good ways. His smile lights up the room, the way he walks is to die for, the way he talks is like music to my ears. The way he looks at me makes me feel good inside, makes me feel like there's someone out there who loves me for me. His kisses make me feel like I can fly. His hugs are eternally amazing, because they make me feel safe. When I'm around him I feel like nothing bad is going to happen and the whole world stops when his lips tremble and meet mine. His hand held in mine is the perfect fit. He holds me when I cry. He kisses my forehead and tells me everything bad that's going on in my life will all be okay. He's sweet, and kind. He's funny like no other. He makes me feel invincible. When I fall asleep on his shoulder I know my I'll have no nightmares that night. They say Disney Land is the happiest place on earth, well they haven't been in his arms. When he holds me, I feel like I belong to someone. [I'm actually tearing while I write this...] He makes me feel beautiful, and full of confidence. *Tears* As my lips shake right now and my eyes turn blurry, I'd like to finally say... I'm utterly and uncontrollably in love with Michael RR. Minneci. I've NEVER been this attached before. The love we have for each other is so unreal and feels so good. Michael, if you're reading this, I'd like to you know everything I'm saying in this is completely true. I love you for you, and that will NEVER change. No matter how much we fight, or say hateful things to each other I will ALWAYS love you. I couldn't stand losing you, if I lost you... That means I lost everything I live for. You are my life, Michael. You are love. You are my everything. I love you, unconditionally.